Your negative emotions complement the positive experiences you need in life
Most people suppress their negative feelings in life.
When I first heard of the self-help world, I thought it was all about being positive thinking, so I avoided it for a long time. I grew up as a negative person, always thinking of the worst-case scenario and ensuring I didn't do risky things.
But at one point, it caused a problem with my relationship. I was jealous and I depended on my partner to be happy.
I knew I couldn't live that way.
It's been more than three years since I started my personal development journey. As I got deeper into my self-discovery journey, I realized that negative feelings aren't meant to be suppressed.
They're warning signs represented by emotions.
Here are seven negative feelings that I've found to be for the better.
1. Feeling like your future is a black box
Being uncertain is the pinnacle of growth.
After leaving my nursing job for a few months, I've been contemplating about my future looks like. It used to be so clear— get a job, get married, and get a house.
Now, the only thing I'm sure of is that I'm traveling, writing, and have a successful online business.
How do I get there? No idea. There are a million ways to get there — become a freelance writer, social media manager, blogger, online entrepreneur, and etc.
But the point is, my future looks like a black box. There are no specific pathways to get where I want to be. Being uncertain or unsure about what the future hold isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It means that you get to choose your adventure.
You're forced to live day-by-day asking yourself, "What do I want to do today?"
You have dreams and ambitions but you're more concerned with the idea of living intentionally than achieving a certain milestone.
2. Feeling like you're at rock bottom
You know what they say about being at rock bottom. There's no place but to go up.
When I worked as an Emergency nurse, I was constantly verbally abused by my patients and their family members. "It's part of the job," everyone would say.
Until one day, I had enough and decided that I would not be in nursing forever.
I refused to be in a situation where I get degraded as a human being.
But of course, I couldn't just leave the next day. I planned. I made an exit strategy to leave my nursing job. It took about a year, but I got out of it.
So being at rock bottom is not a bad thing. It acts as an opportunity for you to turn your life around.
3. Feeling bored
One of my greatest anxiety in life is being bored.
The idea of doing nothing or being bored is as painful as being constantly jabbed by a needle. I became an Emergency nurse because there's always something to do.
And now that I don't have that, I'm experiencing a lot of boredom despite my creative pursuits.
But I also realized when I become bored, that's when my ideas grow.
I get new ideas for my writing, my next digital product, and video content.
And there's research to back this up. Being bored allows us to daydream and develop creative solutions to our current problems.
Start incorporating boredom into your day, and you might come up with the best ideas you've had in a while.
4. Disappointing other people
Saying "no" is truly an underrated life skill.
Because I hated the idea of being bored, I said yes to everything. I said yes to every opportunity that came, whether I didn't have enough time to sleep or soak in the benefits of the present opportunities I had in my life.
But when I started my online hustle, I quickly learned that time is everything, so you start to learn to say no to things that don't align with you. For instance, I recently turned down the content manager role for a company I was writing for.
If I became a content manager, I'd have less time to write.
I'd spend time worrying about how the company's blog is doing and less about practicing my own craft. Even though there's a greater responsibility and more credibility for that project, I'd sacrifice my love for the craft.
When you say no, you tell yourself and the world what matters to you.
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5. Being scared
Most people will be told, "Just do it. There's nothing to be scared of" when doing things out of their comfort zones.
But instead of just doing things and being fearless, it's more important to recognize where the fear is coming from.
I had a really hard time quitting my job because I was scared. When I dove deep into my "fear," I realized I had the "fear of failing." When I asked myself, "What does failing look like?" I couldn't really pinpoint a specific scenario.
I'd end up homeless on the street, I thought.
To me, the fear feels real. So this is how I worked through this fear: if my freelance business makes no money, then I'll fail. But how can that happen if I know exactly how to get clients? I know how to cold pitch. I know how to write good articles. I know how to get paid. I've done them all before.
Suddenly, the fear dissipates.
The brain rewires itself to think a different thought because I addressed what it means to fail.
Being scared is a signal that can help you solve current problems, no matter how small or big they are.
6. Being uncomfortable in your situation
Growth happens on the other side of the comfortable situation.
Ever since I started creating content, I've grown more as a person than if I were to consume podcasts and read books about a specific topic simply.
There are so many articles and videos on becoming a freelance writer. I resisted the idea of becoming a freelance writer because I didn't feel confident enough.
But I realize there is no better teacher than experience itself when it comes to growing as someone you aspire to be.
I'm only about five months into my freelance journey, but I've been exposed to many uncomfortable situations like asking for a higher rate, declining projects, and setting boundaries with clients.
These are all uncomfortable situations, but it simply means I'm growing.
7. You hate where you're at right now
They say that you should always be grateful about where you are right now, no matter where you are.
While it's definitely better when you think positively, it also doesn't mean that you should pretend to love a situation you hate. It's okay to be motivated by the external circumstances you hate.
I hated my nursing job. That hate pushed me to look for something else and that's when I found writing. I found the thing to look forward to during my lunch breaks, night shift breaks, and on my days off.
It was my escape.
When you recognize this hate, you can start to channel them into something else that can become positive in your life.
The self-help world gets a bad rap because people think you're not allowed to think negatively.
That's so far from the truth. When you go on your self-discover journey, you'll realize that embracing all your emotions and learning how to manage them is the key to leaving a more fulfilling and satisfying life.
Because without those negative feelings, you won't recognize what positive feelings are.